Word 1: empty
however
these past few days my heart is breaking. My heart is EMPTY.
I had John take this picture of me to document a weeks worth of tears and fear of the unknown.
My Grandma is currently in her last days. Her laugh and smile will be devastatingly missed. I cannot hardly bare the thought of entering into her home without being welcomed by her loving arms and juicy kisses. I loved cleaning her house while the sound of her singing with her angelic voice while she got ready for the day. She is beautiful, My grandma. With her perfect hair and makeup and her long combed eyelashes. She is beautiful with her grace and poise, she is beautiful with her free flowing kisses and hugs. She is just beautiful.
My grandma Joyce always thinks I am so much better than I really am. Always telling me how wonderful of a parent I am. Always letting me know how capable and smart I am. And always keeping me updated on the latest with each one of her family members. If I get to her house to clean before morning prayer at breakfast I could her my Grandpa praying for the whole family. If I am still there at lunch I hear it again. Every time i am near her I get to hear her proclaim her love for my Grandpa and see them kiss a million times over.
My Grandma is beautiful. She is my friend and I feel empty.
I have felt more than enough love from my grams to last a lifetime and another however I selfishly cannot let go. It has been the single most hardest week of my 30 years. She has been a lending hand, a shoulder to cry on, and good advice when i have needed her most. She loves her Savior and has enough faith to spare. A few years ago my Grandma and Grandpa were sealed in the temple and that was one of her proudest days.
I wanted her to see my get sealed. I really did.
so
I am empty. It is temporary. I just love her. I do.
I have so many stories to share about her life. I will get to them.
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